| Waneta Dawn |
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| Discussion Guide |
Behind the Hedge discussion questions
1. How would you define domestic violence?
List some of the traits of the abuser and victim(s).
2. Using your definition, was Yvette abusive or controlling when she refused to participate in Luke's purchase of
another farm? Why or why not? When faced with divorce as the alternative, should she have changed her mind and
agreed to contribute her funds to the purchase of the new farm? Why or why not?
3. What is spiritual abuse? How did Luke's use of spiritual teachings and biblical characters effect Yvette and their
children? Did it make the abuse more difficult to deal with and sort out than a non-spiritually abusive approach would
have been? Explain your answer.
4. From what you know about church practices, do you think churches and church teachings about submission are to
blame for the behaviour of men like Luke? Do you think churches should change their doctrine about marital roles or
how to succeed at marriage? Or do you think churches teach love, submission, and marriage about right?
5. The men with whom Luke surrounded himself also had controlling attitudes toward their wives and/or women. This is
a common choice abusive-prone men in real life also make, and results in the men having limited sources of examples
and encouragement about attitudes and behavior toward women. How can society in general, or you in particular,
combat this tendency effectively?
6. How did Luke's behavior or presence effect each of the children? Greg? Kyle? Tanya? Were the changes they
made in his absence positive ones? Do you think the final split up of Yvette and Luke was beneficial or harmful to the
children? Or both? Explain.
7. Do you think Yvette could have navigated the situation better? Could she have "managed" Luke or the children
more effectively and still stayed true to her religious beliefs? If so, how? If not, why not? Was she in any way
responsible for Luke's abusive or controlling behavior?
8. Do you think Clara, Yvette's mother, could have offered more effective help? If so, how? Do you know of a family
dealing with abuse issues? Are there ways the extended family could be more helpful, offer more or better information
or resources?
9. Was Yvette's friend, Delores, too pushy or too preachy? Was her marriage to Steve unrealistic? Who could you
look up to as having a mutually respectful marital relationship? If you had a friend you suspected or knew was being
controlled or abused by her husband, would you attempt to help? If so, how?
10. What do you think was driving Luke? Why did he disparage Yvette's and Kyle's accomplishments to their faces, but
brag on them to others? Why was it so important for him to dominate his wife and children? Do you think this is the
motivation behind most abusive men today, or are there other reasons for abuse?
11. Pastor Val appeared to recognize Luke's controlling behavior and tried to deal with it. Were there things he could
have done differently or more effectively? Do pastors in real life have more power and influence to cause abusers to
become respectful?
12. Were William and Ruth, the couple who visited Yvette in Luke's absense, justified in their reaction to Yvette's
disclosure that Luke had moved out? Should pastors address attitudes like theirs from the pulpit? If so, how? What
effect could judgmental/condemning attitudes of church members have on a woman in Yvette's situation who are
thinking about leaving their abusive husbands?
13. What do you think Greg, Kyle and Tanya will be like as adults? How will Yvette need to parent in order to effectively
combat the domination/submission training they already received and will continue to receive from their dad? Can you
think of ways to do this without speaking negatively about their father, especially when he is telling them everything is
their mother's fault?
14. Some men and men's groups say men are getting angrier these days and suggest women are to blame. Do you
think men ARE getting angrier? If so, are women to blame? Why or why not?
15. Did the characters in "Behind the Hedge" seem real to life to you? Why or why not?
16. Which character in the story did you relate to the most? Why?
17. Which character did you like best? Why?
18. Does this novel impact your life in some way? If so, how?
1. How would you define domestic violence?
List some of the traits of the abuser and victim(s).
2. Using your definition, was Yvette abusive or controlling when she refused to participate in Luke's purchase of
another farm? Why or why not? When faced with divorce as the alternative, should she have changed her mind and
agreed to contribute her funds to the purchase of the new farm? Why or why not?
3. What is spiritual abuse? How did Luke's use of spiritual teachings and biblical characters effect Yvette and their
children? Did it make the abuse more difficult to deal with and sort out than a non-spiritually abusive approach would
have been? Explain your answer.
4. From what you know about church practices, do you think churches and church teachings about submission are to
blame for the behaviour of men like Luke? Do you think churches should change their doctrine about marital roles or
how to succeed at marriage? Or do you think churches teach love, submission, and marriage about right?
5. The men with whom Luke surrounded himself also had controlling attitudes toward their wives and/or women. This is
a common choice abusive-prone men in real life also make, and results in the men having limited sources of examples
and encouragement about attitudes and behavior toward women. How can society in general, or you in particular,
combat this tendency effectively?
6. How did Luke's behavior or presence effect each of the children? Greg? Kyle? Tanya? Were the changes they
made in his absence positive ones? Do you think the final split up of Yvette and Luke was beneficial or harmful to the
children? Or both? Explain.
7. Do you think Yvette could have navigated the situation better? Could she have "managed" Luke or the children
more effectively and still stayed true to her religious beliefs? If so, how? If not, why not? Was she in any way
responsible for Luke's abusive or controlling behavior?
8. Do you think Clara, Yvette's mother, could have offered more effective help? If so, how? Do you know of a family
dealing with abuse issues? Are there ways the extended family could be more helpful, offer more or better information
or resources?
9. Was Yvette's friend, Delores, too pushy or too preachy? Was her marriage to Steve unrealistic? Who could you
look up to as having a mutually respectful marital relationship? If you had a friend you suspected or knew was being
controlled or abused by her husband, would you attempt to help? If so, how?
10. What do you think was driving Luke? Why did he disparage Yvette's and Kyle's accomplishments to their faces, but
brag on them to others? Why was it so important for him to dominate his wife and children? Do you think this is the
motivation behind most abusive men today, or are there other reasons for abuse?
11. Pastor Val appeared to recognize Luke's controlling behavior and tried to deal with it. Were there things he could
have done differently or more effectively? Do pastors in real life have more power and influence to cause abusers to
become respectful?
12. Were William and Ruth, the couple who visited Yvette in Luke's absense, justified in their reaction to Yvette's
disclosure that Luke had moved out? Should pastors address attitudes like theirs from the pulpit? If so, how? What
effect could judgmental/condemning attitudes of church members have on a woman in Yvette's situation who are
thinking about leaving their abusive husbands?
13. What do you think Greg, Kyle and Tanya will be like as adults? How will Yvette need to parent in order to effectively
combat the domination/submission training they already received and will continue to receive from their dad? Can you
think of ways to do this without speaking negatively about their father, especially when he is telling them everything is
their mother's fault?
14. Some men and men's groups say men are getting angrier these days and suggest women are to blame. Do you
think men ARE getting angrier? If so, are women to blame? Why or why not?
15. Did the characters in "Behind the Hedge" seem real to life to you? Why or why not?
16. Which character in the story did you relate to the most? Why?
17. Which character did you like best? Why?
18. Does this novel impact your life in some way? If so, how?
| Waneta Dawn |
| © Waneta Dawn 2007-2009 Created June 16, 2008 |
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